Updates and thoughts
Well so far the surgery is still scheduled for November 15th. I go in on the 8th to get blood work and get processed. The insurance is being submitted and they have not denied it yet, so I am hopeful.
Work is going to be busy for the next few weeks for me. I should be busy till the end of the year. That is good. I don't want to look too far ahead, because unless a lot of the proposals come back it is going to drop off pretty steeply again.
I had a wonderful time at Carn-Evil. I wish I had been feeling better, I couldn't stay for a long time, nor participate in some things. I started hurting pretty badly and I am glad I got some energy healing, it was unexpected, but much needed.
Last night I ran a simple online memorial tribute for Joe. It was nice. I cried off and on, but it was good to share with the others that were there. I will be running a couple more of them for people who could not attend.
I hope everything went well for the full moon ritual. I wanted to go, I thought I was going, then after driving all day the pain hit me and I couldn't go. I guess I was not meant to share in the ritual. I had a gift all ready and everything.
Right now the plan is to go to a ritual on Friday and Saturday. We shall see and take it one day at a time.
I was thinking about happiness. When you are not doing what you want to be doing, can you be happy doing what you are doing? I spend so much time missing my friends, losing touch with them, and missing out on all of the community activities. I get upset and feel lonely. I realize that I can only do what I can do, and when I am better I will be able to do more. But that doesn't make it any easier. I get so preoccupied with everything else that I lose track of where I am at and what I can actually do.
The thought in my mind
Race through the abyss
spiral about
Despite what I miss
Connecting the passion
Like a first kiss
Let it go and be free
Centered and solid
Weak in the knees
The beauty around me
Longs to be seen
Pay the attention it needs
With intention well spent
Another day of battle
Weakened reprieve
Finding a shelter
That will take me right now
Suffer no more
By learning the how's
Reading a face in the rain
Feeling the touch of another's closed pain
Seeing the gifts with nothing open to gain
Letting the spirit forget and release all the blame.
Work is going to be busy for the next few weeks for me. I should be busy till the end of the year. That is good. I don't want to look too far ahead, because unless a lot of the proposals come back it is going to drop off pretty steeply again.
I had a wonderful time at Carn-Evil. I wish I had been feeling better, I couldn't stay for a long time, nor participate in some things. I started hurting pretty badly and I am glad I got some energy healing, it was unexpected, but much needed.
Last night I ran a simple online memorial tribute for Joe. It was nice. I cried off and on, but it was good to share with the others that were there. I will be running a couple more of them for people who could not attend.
I hope everything went well for the full moon ritual. I wanted to go, I thought I was going, then after driving all day the pain hit me and I couldn't go. I guess I was not meant to share in the ritual. I had a gift all ready and everything.
Right now the plan is to go to a ritual on Friday and Saturday. We shall see and take it one day at a time.
I was thinking about happiness. When you are not doing what you want to be doing, can you be happy doing what you are doing? I spend so much time missing my friends, losing touch with them, and missing out on all of the community activities. I get upset and feel lonely. I realize that I can only do what I can do, and when I am better I will be able to do more. But that doesn't make it any easier. I get so preoccupied with everything else that I lose track of where I am at and what I can actually do.
The thought in my mind
Race through the abyss
spiral about
Despite what I miss
Connecting the passion
Like a first kiss
Let it go and be free
Centered and solid
Weak in the knees
The beauty around me
Longs to be seen
Pay the attention it needs
With intention well spent
Another day of battle
Weakened reprieve
Finding a shelter
That will take me right now
Suffer no more
By learning the how's
Reading a face in the rain
Feeling the touch of another's closed pain
Seeing the gifts with nothing open to gain
Letting the spirit forget and release all the blame.
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