Updates and thoughts

Hi everyone,
I seem to be recovering pretty well after the surgery. I started feeling better very soon afterwards. This week on Monday and Tuesday the pain was so small I almost said I felt great. Yesterday and Today I have been a little sore; I just think that I got so excited about feeling good I did a little too much. I forget to baby myself and feel pressed to pick up the slack that I have given everyone around me. There have been so much happening at work that I find myself just sitting for hours on end and don’t get up and stretch like I am supposed to. The company let someone go this week in my office and I felt bad about it. As a project manager I keep thinking that there should have been more I could have done to help him get his act together, but they said that this was coming and he had so many chances to make it work that they couldn’t do it any more. I liked the guy, but his work ethics did suck. Even though I was away for a week from the office, today the company told me they are very happy with my performance and made me employee of the month. It is nice timing considering next week is my yearly review and bonuses are coming. So who knows, I might get something extra for Yule.

Two days after the surgery I went to one of my friends here who teaches classes on what she calls Tantric Shamanism. I have been having lots of problems grounding and even going into an ecstasy. It felt like I had some connections mixed up and I couldn’t leave my body because it would be attacked if I did and so too much of myself felt like it had to stay behind. Other things also felt like they were wired wrong as well. So together we decided to do some work together for a little while. She help guard me while she drummed and I left to go visit with my helpers and allies who have been neglected lately. When I left, she said that sure enough something pretty nasty tried to get at me, but she said it wasn’t getting into her space and she fended it off until it gave up. While I was there I me up with my old friends who are a purple polar bear, a bumble bee, a raccoon, an eagle, and a few new ones I had never seen before. The new ones I met where an alligator and a turtle. They said they had been around for a very long time, but that I never noticed because all of us others were always moving around and never in one place very long. We had lots of fun talking and they all got lots of hugs and rubs. When I came back I knew that I had been missed and I know that I have to maintain my communication with them. Turtle even said that he wanted to help me even more than he has in the past without me even noticing. He told me that he will come and guard me in his shell while I journey so that nothing can get at me. I had never even thought about turtle magic even though I am a very earthy person and my uncle was apart of a turtle clan in his tribe in Okalahoma. Anyway, I accepted his help and have felt very secure ever since. My friend suggested that I get a little tattoo to secure our bond. My next one was going to be a soul catcher made of purple polar bear heads, perhaps I can put the turtle in as a connector. I would love to have everyone connected together. I will ponder it.

So let me get back to a basic health update. I am sore still in my back where the cuts were made to get at my spine. The pain that was crippling me in my leg and hip are all but gone. There are a few ghost pains that pull and bug me when I am trying to sleep, but for all intents and purposes that pain is gone. I on my way to being back to where I was a year or so ago at least. In about a month, I should be able to begin strengthen my back and begin physically to become more healthy and exercise on a consistent basis. I pulled back from the community after Pagan Pride Day this last fall to try and heal. Now I can start again and dig in again much deeper and perhaps develop some spiritual connections with others in this community. In two weeks I am going to lead a small discussion on practicing a natural religion to a little group. Perhaps later I will teach a small Reiki class. It will be nice to be able to move again. I just have to take my time and let myself heal and not rush it and injure myself more.

I didn’t mean to ramble I, I just started typing.
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.

In the morning when I wake,
I look around and smile,
The visions that I take,
Relax and begin to compile.
Plug in my feet,
Connect to life again.
Lay into Mother’s field.
At one,
Relief
It has been a long while.
Listen to the breeze,
Hear the voices sing,
Prayers again complete,
I send my love to all.
Soar above, around,
Make that joyful sound,
Smile even more,
Create the next open door.
So high, and so long,
Melt the morning into song.
Flying to that next embrace,
Begin the next step in a life long race.
No end and no beginning,
Never losing, always winning.
At one,
Relief