Bear's Blurbs

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Vernal Equinox

This past vernal equinox was very special to me. I learned some things about my self and I was more aware of new connections that I have started in my steps along the spiral. My celebration began on Friday. I made a choice to be by myself and let myself be at peace from all of the burdens that I place in my heart. I spent some time in reflection and I meditated on my life as it is now. I saw all of my paths, all of my dreams, all of the spokes of my wheel, and looked to see if my holes where really holes, or just new places to store possibilities.

I woke Saturday with a charge and ran to the DMV to observe others in their reaction of confinement and chaotic order. I spent an hour and a half of chosen impedance to register new vehicles and pay my luxury tax for the privilege of moving faster from point A to point B and to give myself more choices in life’s activities. It becomes fascinating to watch people who are set upon a purpose and awaiting their number to be called with as little interaction with others as possible. They contemplate life, their day, the why’s and the what-for, money, property, jobs, clothes, opinions of others, family, but are any of them contemplating Spirit? Can they see themselves and others as the beings they are? Can they face the moment they are living, or because they don’t want to be there, are they seeing the moments ahead or behind? Can someone be spiritual at the DMV?

I left there and stopped by a little store I saw while driving around. It was filled with art, statues, fountains, furniture, and many other things from different countries in the Far East. Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean and many other cultures represented for your eyes to discover. Some items where very old, some where new, but they all spoke of their journey. The shop had been broken into the night before and an officer was filling out a report while I looked around, the sense of security and hope was transformed into anger and fear, I left sending them peace and love in their personal rebuilding process.

I went to the dry cleaners and talked to the owner about their new home and listened to a child play and send her baby to doctor and play with her friend. The joy and innocence of play in its pure form was touching. I then went and met a friend for lunch, talked about Pagan Pride Day and shared in the discovery of unique stringed instruments. We ran all over the place looking for tools and materials to make them playable. The time slipped by and traffic delayed me and I missed attending my tribal equinox ritual so I went to the Dance of Sacred Balance and took a journey into personal discovery.

I looked into myself and brought the focus on my polarity. I looked, breathed, dance, voiced, and saw through the eyes of the Sun and the Earth. I saw the strength, the power, the forceful, the passive, the passion, the fire, the rhythm, and made clear choice in my perception. Switching from one to the other, joining and separating, noticing my reaction both physically and spiritually showed me the parts of my self that I sometimes neglect to bring to the front and show the world around me.

I felt a special touch from the Sun and the pull to bring more of the Sun into aspects of my life. Being of both the Sun and the Earth, I must strive for the balance and be strong in my connection to them. I have spent time in my connection to the Earth, Mother knows my heart. I must give time to knowing Father so that I can know all of me. I must keep the heart sacred. I live in the desert and am a part of it now. If I do not know the Sun in this place, I will not be in balance. This last year allowed me to taste the transition from the Midwest to the Southwest. I must now embrace it. During the next few seasons I must have the strength to focus and discover the neglected portion of myself that is the Sun. It is the time of birth and transition my spiral must turn.

After the Dance of Sacred Balance I decided to imprint my spiritual needs in the form of a new tattoo. I combined the various aspects of my life right now and derived a symbol that meets my needs. I combined the Toteg Tribe symbol, the eight spoke wheel of balance, and a new protector in my journey, the turtle. It shows the union of the Sun and the Earth in the sunrise, the spiral journey of the golden, the balance of the directions, the turning of the wheel, and set within a protector and companion. My next tattoo was going to be a soul catcher with the heads of polar bears, but I decided that it will come at the right time and right now this is what I need.

On Sunday I did mindful work and then picked up my wife from her journey at the airport. I then went and joined with others in the celebration of the equinox and discovered the fairies in their child state. Everything from simple joy to pure intent, I watched them discover the hidden fruit, saw them demand attention, watched them give freely, they played and lived truly even as they tested boundaries and personal will. There was even wonder in the glimpse of the child in the gathered adults and big children. Love was shared from the core to all and the transition to a time between was quite refreshing. I have never interacted with the fey of the world, to me they were always just a step into the fantasy and not into perception. I had felt that I would rather interact with the birds, insects, rocks and trees, and less into the workings of such things. I was happy to glimpse the world of the fey. They became a step more real to me. Perhaps in time they will touch me more. For now I will communicate with the spirits and continue on my spiral.

Thank you to my family, my tribe, my friends, and my love.

Arise and awake

The Sun shines and the day is new

My heart awakes to life once more

Shift upon the axial

Balanced for a moment

The rise and fall of the cycle

Adding in harmony to make one

Propagation and creation

Only stillness in the finite distance

Move back and see it all

Push forward and let your light be one with the Sun

All must change

All must transition

Allow yourself to raise your face

Greet the heart with open arms

Let the dew absorb

Listen to your needs

Accept them as they come

You control the print of what you can be

Don’t be afraid to adjust and push on

The Sun shines and the day is new

Arise and awake